Inspirational Quote:
“Truth resides in every human heart, and one has to search for it there, and to be guided by truth as one sees it. But no one has a right to coerce others to act according to his own view of the truth.”
~ Mahatma Gandhi
Aug
8
2010

What Is Love?

From the time that we are born we hear the word “Love”. It is applied in so many different ways such as : I love you, I love my car, I love my house, I love my cat and I really loved that movie to name a few. But what does it really mean?
Most of us are taught by society, parents, family and friends that we won’t be complete until we find this elusive thing called Love, we search for it all of our lives in everything outside of ourselves. We are taught that there is one person that will complete us if we can only find our one true love. And if we don’t find this elusive person there is something inherently wrong with us and in some cases when we believe that we have found this person that was suppose to complete us and it doesn’t work out and or ends in divorce then we are back where we started. The implication is the same: there must be something wrong with me because it didn’t work out. This then tends to start the cycle all over in this driving need to find that one person that is purported to be perfect for us and it is not only our job to find said person it is our responsibility because without said person we are not complete.
This poses the questions: What is this thing called love? Can it only be found in another person? Why does it take someone outside of ourselves to make us whole or complete? How does one love another? Can I love another if I have yet to learn how to love myself? How do I learn to love myself? Why is it that most of us are not taught how to love ourselves? How does one go about loving oneself? Do we even know what it means?
My belief is that most people are not taught how to love themselves due to the fact that society deems this as something selfish, we are taught by society as well as the media that love is something we have to find in another, that we have to earn it and or be worthy of it. That if someone truly loves us they will give us presents, take us on a trip, out to dinner, buy us a house……….. Yet is this love?
When I was growing up I was taught that loving someone meant that I had to please them and if I didn’t then their love and or affection was taken away in the forms of “the silent treatment”, having to prove that I was worthy by trying to be perfect in everything I did, accepting any and all behaviors towards me without question no matter how abusive those behaviors were and above all else never question anything or anyone.
As you might imagine these dysfunctional beliefs became a self fulfilling prophecy in my life and relationships.
The positive aspect of all of this is that it created thinking on my part and I began to question my beliefs as well as my reality. This in turn led me to go within myself on a journey of self discovery to find out what was wrong with me and why I wasn’t loveable and how could I fix whatever was wrong with me.
What I learned was there was nothing wrong with me!
I learned that what I had been taught as a child was not what I considered love yet I still didn’t have a clue what love really was.  I had been so conditioned by my environment that I wasn’t even aware that there was another perspective, I simply knew that if love was what I had been taught then I didn’t want to have anything to do with it.
I knew that nothing was working in my life and that I didn’t have a clue how to change things. For me that was a good place to start because I was open to learning no matter what the cost. I felt this driving need to find the answers.
I have found in my life experience that when one has a true desire to learn the opportunity to learn is automatically created and supported by the universe. All of a sudden people started coming into my life that were studying something called personal growth; Which in turn led me to investigate the “child within me” as well as the subconscious mind that held all of these beliefs about what it was that I believed love to be.  One by one I challenged those beliefs and re-created them into a framework that worked for me. I accomplished this by studying many different modalities such as: Inner Child Work, TA, Rebirthing, NLP, Bio Feedback, Cellular Memory work as well as learning to listen to my subtle thinking in order to bring the subconscious mind to the conscious mind along with many other healing modalities.
I learned that I am not my beliefs and that my beliefs are simply conditioned learned behavior. I became aware that I had not been taught to differentiate between myself as a person and my behavior. I learned how to tell the difference between my feelings and my emotions. I learned that if I really wanted to be able to create my reality in a positive manner I had to access my subconscious mind in order to learn what beliefs were held there as it is the subconscious mind that rules our thinking and our behavior. I learned that I have choices in life at all times and that not making a choice is also a choice.
Most important of all I learned that I didn’t need to do anything to be worthy of love because I AM LOVE, I AM CREATED FROM LOVE!
The Webster’s Dictionary states that love is: strong affection, warm attachment, unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for others.
From my point of view this definition falls way short of the mark. This is a man made definition therefore by that alone it has to be limiting.
I have felt all of these emotions that are described in the dictionary and none of them even comes close to what I feel when I am consciously connecting with what is termed God Energy, Source Energy, Universal Energy or whatever one chooses to call it. This Love Energy as it is deemed; that I connect with literally has no words that could ever begin to describe what Love is! The closest I can come is that of all encompassing neutrality. Therefore if I am love then I am accepting all aspects of myself in total neutrality. I become the observer of my life process without judgment. I recognize that in human form I am an evolving Being and I am respectful of my process knowing that there is perfection inherent in whatever I do whether I am able to perceive this or not has no relevance. When I can do this with myself then I am able to do it with another in relationship.
From my perspective we don’t need another to complete us as we are complete in and of ourselves nevertheless as humans we are social creatures and living in human form we have needs that are an integral part of who we are. Therefore the choice is ours to make as with all things, yet I do not believe anyone can complete us as we are complete as we are. We always have the option to share our lives with another, yet I am the only one that has the power to feel complete within myself.
WHAT DOES LOVE MEAN TO YOU?
~ Rev. Michaelle Douglas (M.Div.)
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About the Author: Michaelle Douglas

Rev. Michaelle Douglas (M.Div.) is a Spiritual life coach, Workshop Facilitator and Healer with over 30 years of experience. She conducts workshops in English & Spanish on: » Communication Skills » Self Empowerment » Energywork etc. and offers: » Ordinations » Spiritual Life Coaching to bring you the opportunity to explore your own core self and enhance your personal power.

5 Comments + Add Comment

  • Love,Love,Love the Website!! The article on ” Love” causes one to pause and reflect!! Thank-you for the insights surrounding my own beliefs about Love!!

    • I am so glad you are enjoying the website!
      It is truly a pleasure having you in my life; your insights and sharing are always a wonderful invitation for reflection on my part as well!
      LAK’ECH
      Heart Angel

  • Im very intrigied to hear more about what you belive love is. My whole world has been turned upside down as I read this and connect it to my own life. Thanks for what I like to call advice, because I truly feel a lot better about going in to the world, and using the information you have given me to not better myself, but educate other around me and use my self wholey.

    • Thank you Krissa!!
      You are wise beyond your years and it is such a joy to have you in my life!!!!!
      You are a gift to any person that has the privilege to have you in their lives!
      I would be more than happy to share more of my perspective with you whenever you have time just let me know!
      Kiss Angel Clap Heart Rose

  • We have all the time to talk in the world, and I’ll see you tommorow any ways. I just only hope that someday I’ll be able to help people like you do, or just be like you in genral. But theres still so much I have to learn.
    Heh

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LifeForce© is owned and operated by Rev. Michaelle Douglas (M.Div.) who is a Spiritual life coach, Workshop Facilitator and Healer with over 30 years of experience.
She conducts workshops in English & Spanish on:
» Communication Skills
» Self Empowerment
» Energywork etc.
and offers:
» Ordinations
» Spiritual Life Coaching
to bring you the opportunity to explore your own core self and enhance your personal power. More »


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I was invited by Annie to this place of sharing the heart that beats within us all. I do not speak for all as all speaks when we are ready to listen. A feeling of calm is what I can share, and from there we can all make choices creating from the creation of loving expansion we are. We are the shared breath that takes all forms of light. I release fear and doubt everyday and the return has gave me confindence in myself. If I can help in anyway. I am here. I work best when I am calm in my mind body and spirit and each let me know when they need some attention. I am perfectly imperfect asking and learning from each one of you and all that I see as the physical truth. It is much deeper and lighter than the tension we all put on ourselves to be perfect. Let perfect a direction for the afterlife. Lets live now and create good and happiness with in every physical breath. I share my breath with you and I have no fear you will use it wrong. You are perfectly imperfect. What a blessing to have help such as this wonderful site that has appeared from the physical hands of love. Lets turn up the lights so we all can see the party. Namaste Brothers and Sisters. A big hug from my physical body when we come together is my gift to you all when it is time. No rush, I dont want to miss anything important that comes in this physical world I have only remembered recently. It grows daily, and the only thing I think is true is it always will. My Will is my way, I love you all. Stay imperfectly perfectly You. Nathan ( your soul brother )
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Michaelle Douglas’ workshop - Games People Play - provides participants with invaluable tools and insights as to the negative dynamics people often play out in their lives in all types of relationships. Through this multifaceted and intelligently structured workshop, Michaelle helps participants understand and identify the roles people tend to take on in their various relationships, and how these archetypes are very often the root of much self sabotage, dissatisfaction, and failure. She is a gifted “natural intuitive”, and has an excellent understanding of the psychological, emotional, and spiritual aspects of the human psyche. The marriage of her intuition and knowledge make her an excellent teacher and life coach, who is both compassionate and inspiring. The tools and exercises she uses to identify and resolve issues that hold us back, are not only incredibly effective and enlightening, but can also become an invaluable addition to our mind-set to be used when faced with new challenges. It has been such a pleasure for me to learn from Michaelle, and I am truly grateful to have been able to benefit from the many insights and exercises she has so generously shared with me, all of which have only served to help transform my perception of things and the manner in which to tackle the challenges that continue to arise. I cannot recommend her enough, both as a workshop facilitator and life coach.
Rosie, Los Angeles

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