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Aug
8
2010
Articles // LifeForce©

What Is Love?

Author An article by Michaelle    Comments 5 Comments
From the time that we are born we hear the word “Love”. It is applied in so many different ways such as : I love you, I love my car, I love my house, I love my cat and I really loved that movie to name a few. But what does it really mean?
Most of us are taught by society, parents, family and friends that we won’t be complete until we find this elusive thing called Love, we search for it all of our lives in everything outside of ourselves. We are taught that there is one person that will complete us if we can only find our one true love. And if we don’t find this elusive person there is something inherently wrong with us and in some cases when we believe that we have found this person that was suppose to complete us and it doesn’t work out and or ends in divorce then we are back where we started. The implication is the same: there must be something wrong with me because it didn’t work out. This then tends to start the cycle all over in this driving need to find that one person that is purported to be perfect for us and it is not only our job to find said person it is our responsibility because without said person we are not complete.
This poses the questions: What is this thing called love? Can it only be found in another person? Why does it take someone outside of ourselves to make us whole or complete? How does one love another? Can I love another if I have yet to learn how to love myself? How do I learn to love myself? Why is it that most of us are not taught how to love ourselves? How does one go about loving oneself? Do we even know what it means?
My belief is that most people are not taught how to love themselves due to the fact that society deems this as something selfish, we are taught by society as well as the media that love is something we have to find in another, that we have to earn it and or be worthy of it. That if someone truly loves us they will give us presents, take us on a trip, out to dinner, buy us a house……….. Yet is this love?
When I was growing up I was taught that loving someone meant that I had to please them and if I didn’t then their love and or affection was taken away in the forms of “the silent treatment”, having to prove that I was worthy by trying to be perfect in everything I did, accepting any and all behaviors towards me without question no matter how abusive those behaviors were and above all else never question anything or anyone.
As you might imagine these dysfunctional beliefs became a self fulfilling prophecy in my life and relationships.
The positive aspect of all of this is that it created thinking on my part and I began to question my beliefs as well as my reality. This in turn led me to go within myself on a journey of self discovery to find out what was wrong with me and why I wasn’t loveable and how could I fix whatever was wrong with me.
What I learned was there was nothing wrong with me!
I learned that what I had been taught as a child was not what I considered love yet I still didn’t have a clue what love really was.  I had been so conditioned by my environment that I wasn’t even aware that there was another perspective, I simply knew that if love was what I had been taught then I didn’t want to have anything to do with it.
I knew that nothing was working in my life and that I didn’t have a clue how to change things. For me that was a good place to start because I was open to learning no matter what the cost. I felt this driving need to find the answers.
I have found in my life experience that when one has a true desire to learn the opportunity to learn is automatically created and supported by the universe. All of a sudden people started coming into my life that were studying something called personal growth; Which in turn led me to investigate the “child within me” as well as the subconscious mind that held all of these beliefs about what it was that I believed love to be.  One by one I challenged those beliefs and re-created them into a framework that worked for me. I accomplished this by studying many different modalities such as: Inner Child Work, TA, Rebirthing, NLP, Bio Feedback, Cellular Memory work as well as learning to listen to my subtle thinking in order to bring the subconscious mind to the conscious mind along with many other healing modalities.
I learned that I am not my beliefs and that my beliefs are simply conditioned learned behavior. I became aware that I had not been taught to differentiate between myself as a person and my behavior. I learned how to tell the difference between my feelings and my emotions. I learned that if I really wanted to be able to create my reality in a positive manner I had to access my subconscious mind in order to learn what beliefs were held there as it is the subconscious mind that rules our thinking and our behavior. I learned that I have choices in life at all times and that not making a choice is also a choice.
Most important of all I learned that I didn’t need to do anything to be worthy of love because I AM LOVE, I AM CREATED FROM LOVE!
The Webster’s Dictionary states that love is: strong affection, warm attachment, unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for others.
From my point of view this definition falls way short of the mark. This is a man made definition therefore by that alone it has to be limiting.
I have felt all of these emotions that are described in the dictionary and none of them even comes close to what I feel when I am consciously connecting with what is termed God Energy, Source Energy, Universal Energy or whatever one chooses to call it. This Love Energy as it is deemed; that I connect with literally has no words that could ever begin to describe what Love is! The closest I can come is that of all encompassing neutrality. Therefore if I am love then I am accepting all aspects of myself in total neutrality. I become the observer of my life process without judgment. I recognize that in human form I am an evolving Being and I am respectful of my process knowing that there is perfection inherent in whatever I do whether I am able to perceive this or not has no relevance. When I can do this with myself then I am able to do it with another in relationship.
From my perspective we don’t need another to complete us as we are complete in and of ourselves nevertheless as humans we are social creatures and living in human form we have needs that are an integral part of who we are. Therefore the choice is ours to make as with all things, yet I do not believe anyone can complete us as we are complete as we are. We always have the option to share our lives with another, yet I am the only one that has the power to feel complete within myself.
WHAT DOES LOVE MEAN TO YOU?
~ Rev. Michaelle Douglas (M.Div.)
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Michaelle

About the Author: Michaelle Douglas

Rev. Michaelle Douglas (M.Div.) is a Spiritual life coach, Workshop Facilitator and Healer with over 30 years of experience. She conducts workshops in English & Spanish on: » Communication Skills » Self Empowerment » Energywork etc. and offers: » Ordinations » Spiritual Life Coaching to bring you the opportunity to explore your own core self and enhance your personal power.

5 Comments + Add Comment

  • Kathryn Kuhlmey October 1, 2010 at 9:34 am

    Love,Love,Love the Website!! The article on ” Love” causes one to pause and reflect!! Thank-you for the insights surrounding my own beliefs about Love!!

    Reply
    • Michaelle
      Rev. Michaelle Douglas October 1, 2010 at 12:48 pm

      I am so glad you are enjoying the website!
      It is truly a pleasure having you in my life; your insights and sharing are always a wonderful invitation for reflection on my part as well!
      LAK’ECH
      Heart Angel

      Reply
  • Krissa Boman November 9, 2010 at 5:31 pm

    Im very intrigied to hear more about what you belive love is. My whole world has been turned upside down as I read this and connect it to my own life. Thanks for what I like to call advice, because I truly feel a lot better about going in to the world, and using the information you have given me to not better myself, but educate other around me and use my self wholey.

    Reply
    • Michaelle
      Michaelle November 11, 2010 at 9:06 am

      Thank you Krissa!!
      You are wise beyond your years and it is such a joy to have you in my life!!!!!
      You are a gift to any person that has the privilege to have you in their lives!
      I would be more than happy to share more of my perspective with you whenever you have time just let me know!
      Kiss Angel Clap Heart Rose

      Reply
  • Krissa Boman November 11, 2010 at 8:01 pm

    We have all the time to talk in the world, and I’ll see you tommorow any ways. I just only hope that someday I’ll be able to help people like you do, or just be like you in genral. But theres still so much I have to learn.
    Heh

    Reply

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